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Tell us that you are/were a bartender too — like that means anything to us. Attempt to order a drink from our 16-year-old busser. Dramatically open your wallet in front of our face in an attempt to get served before the 15 other people who came in before you. Big Tits XXX Mag has all the hottest big boob chicks in one place for you, all for free!These top heavy babes are playing with dildos, sucking cock, and having amazing lesbian sex by the poolside. See these busty sluts do everything XXX under the sun on Big Tits XXXMag.com! Your night of kamikaze shots and drunken text messages to your mother? Come in with your friend, order one drink each, then ask us to split the check between your two credit cards. Order an obscure bottle of wine off of our cellar list that we have probably never looked at and didn’t even know we had.

Place your drink beside the coaster that we kindly provided for you. Take a stack of coasters home as “mementos.” Mementos of what? ” when there is a list right in front of you titled: What’s on Tap.

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Rip your cocktail napkin up into tiny bits of confetti. Ask for another lime wedge so it can sit on the rim of your glass un-squeezed.

Try to enter the bar before it is open, then ask: “Is it cool if I just wait?

Assume that there is only one bartender in this establishment and ask us why we are here instead of her. Chat us up in the grocery store like we’re actually friends.